Thursday, January 26, 2012


I have finally realised the perks to living in my flat on a weekend. Hardly anybody is here so usually I get free run of the television. The result? A strict schedule consisting of All Star Family Fortunes, X Factor and Casualty on a Saturday night. Again what is it about me that is different to everybody else my age…A Saturday night is usually a time for going out and getting drunk but no here I am inside again. ******* was here this weekend which made things a little more interesting. I wasn’t exactly impressed however to find the television commandeered by him. There is only so long that you can watch ‘Natural World’ with a guy that finds chasing llamas fun when he’s drunk, or states that his floppy fish fingers look like they’re wearing pyjamas, before your mind starts to wander slightly. I stare at the Christmas tree first, picking out faults, the baubles that are too close together, the beads that are too droopy, gaps that need filling with tinsel or streamers or the wonky tree topper. Then I move onto staring at the floor, just looking at the dirty bits of food that people have dropped during the week that haven’t yet been vacuumed up. I notice a piece of courgette that’s been lying on the floor by the stove for the last week, just left there to go mouldy because whoever dropped it couldn’t be bothered to pick it up. This leads to inspecting the chore rota and sending accusatory glances across to ******* for not vacuuming but all I get in return is the vacant expression of somebody mesmerised by a bear and fox hunting together on the television.
            Just when I think my evening had hit a rock bottom low **** walks in unexpectedly straight from work. My knees instantly become weak as he looks so smart and handsome in his work suit. I try not to drool or stumble over my words as he walks in but it fails and my ‘hello’ becomes ‘helbla uh hey’. I just watch for 5 minutes as he goes about his business around the kitchen, all the time aware of the fact that I probably look weird watching. I can’t help it! There is something about him that just makes me want to watch his every move.

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